Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: All the way home, and the next day I cried all the way back to the library. Right now you have over a 100 crazed teenagers in your backyard ready to boogie. Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! That's the last time I do anything for anybody in this house. All the doo da day. Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. This means you guys have to go together. And most of all, you don't have to deal with bullies. Here is the updated version of every line of Urkel's famous: "I've fallen and I can't get up" line from the show Family Matters.Here are the episodes in orde. Eddie has lied . The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. Alright. Laura Lee Winslow: Oh lord, you're gonna die. [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Chuck is twice the man, Raoul is. Laura: No! I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. You see, I use verbs. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Hey, what were you doing in my closet? 1 The Shrink Machine Was Made To Make The Winslows Plenty Of Money. 5. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. [after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I feel so safe in Raoul's strong arms I love him soo much and I sorta like Carl. None of this is your fault. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Judy Winslow: Boring. Topics Nerd. Ouchith! Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. That's not enough time for Rambo to blow anything up. They help move along our sentences. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How'd that happen? Laura Lee Winslow: You're lucky, you got into a great fraternity and all it cost you was your best friend. That one friend who says going to gym will solve everything. She imforms Maxine that Steve is safe and Rachel has just taken him home], Willie Fuffner: See officer, everything is fine. She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. Steve Urkel: Well, it starts out with a little cough. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, bring me a slice. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The librarian, a white man that I'd known all my life, pushed me out into the street and told me never to come back. Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm? Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? I'm Stefan sweet thing. We're starved. Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker! Rachel Crawford: Steve? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. Waldo: [after thinking a moment] Ok. Does that about cover it? Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. How did you know? I want to know why my instructions were not followed. Wha? this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. Harriette Winslow: She says OGD's a great kid, but he hasn't had it easy in his life. This semester we're Steven, you'd better get going. Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent? Harriette Winslow: Mother Winslow, take all the toddlers up to your room. And, he's got something that he didn't have before. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. Having aired 215 episodes, Family Matters is ranked third, behind only Tyler Perry's House of Payne (254), and The Jeffersons (253). [Turns and squirts filling on Carl's shirt]. Third, if you touch me at any time, the "non-date" is over. Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! This isn't my grandmother. Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. THIS? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Carl Otis Winslow: Don't get cute with me Harriet. Laura Lee Winslow: That you'll never go into outer space again. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh they love the new me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? Raoul is the new produce manager. Carl: Are you implying that you're not having a good time? Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? But our little town only had ONE library, and it was for whites only. Steve Urkel: Steve Urkel! Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. Steve Urkel: Uh no. Bushwhacker Luke: 'Cause they couldn't catch her till then! I can't breathe! [goes to the refrigerator] No root beer? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. Gun, Carl. Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? Stefan Urkelle: It's not just a transformation chamber. Ms. Steuben: All right, class. Suppose I made it happen. Steve Urkel: Ms Steuben, you taught Laura to slow down and stop taking short cuts. Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. Carl Otis Winslow: Might have. At the airport he picked up 6 bags. [Carl has just gotten wind of Eddie's plans to have a flier party. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. It meant a lot to me. Harriette Winslow: Carl was nice enough to invite you into his game and you've been acting like a jackass. Eddie: Name's Eddie Winslow, but my friends call me Eddie. I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Boyd Higgins: Name's Boyd Higgins, but ym friends call me Buck! Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? [laughs]. Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard. Laura Lee Winslow: Oh you're not a sorority, you're a bunch of vicious, stuck up barracudas with teased hair and push up bras. Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! Harriette: That won't get the stains out. White, known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom "Family Matters," is. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. What are you? I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Could you write that 'A' down on a piece of paper? Would you like that? I won't be able to take you to the prom. Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Hey, cut me some slack. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. Steve Urkel: Of course. My parents play this with me all the time! "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. I can't afford a B on my permanent record. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, well how did that happen? We were just having a little fun. Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. Steve Urkel: I can't! No. Carl: What? Read the card, read the card. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? What do you use to get weighed, a postage scale? Steve Urkel: I can't! Isn't that sad? Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! [Steve goes to answer the door] I'm going to consummate, I'm going to consummate. "Will you marry me for just one night?" 7. [someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]. Ms. Steuben: I know, Steven. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. Could you write that A down on a piece of paper? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill. Carl: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Eddie: I don't see what getting beat up is gonna prove. This poker game is important to you and I messed it up by inviting this windbag. Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. Poor Laura has worked so hard and now she has to drop out of the race. Carl Otis Winslow: But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. You are under arrest! Some Sorry looking roses that are 3 hours away from potpourri. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Harriette Winslow: [while trying to calm an apprehensive Rachel about leaving Richie overnight with the babysitter for the first time] Rachel, I know it's hard leaving your baby for the first time, but after that it gets a lot easier. Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. Needless to say she's not amused as he jumps on there]. Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. [laughs]. You're acting like animals! Harriette: Don't even think like that. Rachel Crawford: Well, Steve, I am your boss. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. You're making me blush. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Every time I ask her about it, she just cries and takes another Rolaid. Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? Steve Urkel: I'm more of a polka kinda guy. We are properly trained. "I heard you are looking for a stud. Trying to cover it up only make things worse. . Can you help me out? [Comes out and fights Willie as the students cheer for a fight between Urkel and Fuffner], [Waldo and Wille has just gotten out of class to trash Urkel's locker]. I'm starved. So long! Maybe a better word is Loud. Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. I tried to help you! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Yeah, I went to sleep and Stevil made a guest appearance. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. No more chimes. Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. You can stay. Rachel Crawford: Steve, are you sure you're okay? While he was starring in "Family Matters" as Steve Urkel, White also began a side hustle as another staple of the era's popular culture . Harriette: [Reading] Swiss Family Robinson! Steve Urkel: Oh, no I'm not. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. When's the last time you slept? Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Carl Otis Winslow: All right. Web. Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Would you shut your filthy mouth! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: When you're hurting other people it ain't harmless. Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. It's to another restaurant. You're always sorry. Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! Harriette Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Carl. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. I got fifty bucks on the Knicks. I mean, you are very Laura: Let's just put it this way You have the perfect face for your head. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? You don't sleep, you don't have nightmares. Eddie Winslow, front and center! And to top it all off you gave me an old card that I already have. I-I-I see. Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. Steve Urkel: King me. [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Harriette Winslow: Are your parents happy with the new you? Rachel Crawford: I'm what?
. Clarence: [walking into the Winslow house] Well if it ain't the Partridge family. [steps on the gas]. Richie Crawford: We're going to play with these toys for 30 days and return them, like Uncle Carl's going to do with his peanut helmet. Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? 1. Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Harriette Winslow: Oh lord. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: DAN DRUFF? Steve Urkel: [Rushed] That's all. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [cracks a laugh but tries to stop] It's so sad. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. [Runs with Steve to confront Waldo and Weasel], [Eddie tries to flirt with a cute girl, unaware that Carl is behind him]. It meant a lot to me. Due to the Urkel character's off-putting characteristics and the way he would stir up events and underscore the plot or even move . [poins to the part on Harriette's diary] Aha, it's over with me and Raoul. [laughs] But you never smile! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket. This isn't right Weasel. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. I was on the bus on the way to day camp when all of a sudden my eyes started to water and I started coughing up all this green stuff. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. Yesterday he said 'get lost, Fido Face!' Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. So they picked up all our stuff and moved us. Can you believe that? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! Steve Urkel: What? Who? Steve Urkel: [Climbs over the balcony and falls] Oh! Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? You're a fine man.You'll be spending the month of May in your room, but you're a fine young man. Easy Eddo. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [laughing] Good one, Myrtle! My mom's the one who really messed up. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class. Steve Urkel: Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! Carl Otis Winslow: No. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture. Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Rachel Crawford: Harriette, we've got to talk. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, who are all these kids? Carl Otis Winslow: I do not care what other people think. Rachel Crawford: Maybe you could come back when your voice has changed. Rachel Crawford: When the paramedics got there, they thought SIXTY-SEVEN people had died! Laura Lee Winslow: He didn't need to. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Steve Urkel: Yes! Right now we're going to have a wedding, but directly after that we're going to have a funeral. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? Besides it's just a joy ride what could go wrong? Carl: Oh, you heard me, don't ever come back. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I couldn't even go in. Carl: What? At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. urkel-steve. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! Richie Crawford: I can break all this stuff. Carl Otis Winslow: [ordering in a coffee shop] Just a bearclaw and a coffee. Carl will understand. Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. Rachel Crawford: Sort of an Urkel Exchange Program? It's either a number or a letter! Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea. Join. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, so is Urkelbot! Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. I'm Stefan sweet thing. [He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]. Wha? The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. I met Raoul. Laura Lee Winslow: Now, for the championship and the toaster oven, who made the first patented shoe sewing machine? [Goes to feel his head]. 4 Mar. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait Wait. Steve began working on more elaborate inventions, and in "Little Big Guy" he had a new idea. Rodney Beckett: [after seeing Eddie's music video] I can't believe it. Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. Waldo: We rented us a limo station wagon. Carl: Uh-oh. Steve Urkel: The woman's been flirting with me. I want more Punch! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Uh no, Waldo, state your name. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. [Eddie groans as Carl walks in to brighten his mood], [Eddie leaves with Carl to hang out with him. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. [sees the kids] Oh my Lord! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Seymour Butts? I'm on duty? Five hundred on the line. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo, You make up 1,000 flyers, Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But I'll get writer's cramp. Maxine: Ugh, what is this? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Okay, first question. This has never happened before. I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. Cassie Lynn: Look, Becky Sue. Laura Lee Winslow: [enters the room] All right, Curtis. That wasn't a rock video. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Wow. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? Yesterday Richie and 3J were playing 'Nick and Carl'. Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. It's not fair. Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. Harriette: Come on, sweetie, let's get you home and then I can put some antiseptic on those cuts. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Stupid? steve urkel pick up linesaiken county sc register of deeds steve urkel pick up lines Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. They misspelled three words. Ms. Steuben: That's that's not funny, Steven. Steve Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Steve Urkel: Don't we remind you of The Temptations? I could hear him sobbing in his suspension chamber. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile? But, you're a teacher, Ms. Steuben, and a daaarrn good one. I'm going home! Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom. Oh, I see. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep? He doesn't have the advantages to see how good the cops are like our kids have. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? [laughs] Bye! Harriette Winslow: Harsh? This is fantastic! I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. Got anything in the fridge? Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]. He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Harriette Winslow: Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Curtis. Oh, the room is spinning. Carl: I am not. Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. You mother once tried bean bags. [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday. Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. From now on, no parties and no TV. [Notices no one is there anymore] Well, I thought it was a good story. springfield, ma city council candidates, woman eaten by crocodile in australia,